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April 29, 2020

Need a Little Comic Relief?

Neel a little comic relief

There are a lot of uncertainties these days, which tend to boggle brains and stifle activities. We are continually bombarded with information about the COVID-19 virus, and what we’re supposed to be doing to avoid it. But we don’t hear nearly enough about one of the best remedies to the boredom of staying self-quarantined – laughter!

Just as we did for last year’s National Programmatic Day, we want to offer a few tidbits that just may help you with the laughing part of staying home:

Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”

Upside down omni monkey hanging by a tail

Two members of the Genius Monkey team are walking into the office at the same time. Alexa says, “I can make Jeremy give me the day off.” Evian replies, “And how would you do that?” Alexa says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside down from the ceiling. Jeremy comes in and says, “What are you doing?” Alexa replies, “I’m a light bulb.” Jeremy then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.” Evian starts to follow her and Jeremy says, “Where are you going?” Evian says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”

Clint and Jeremy are being chased by a hungry lion. Jeremy makes some quick calculations and says, “We’re not going to outrun it. It’s catching up!” Clint keeps a little ahead and replies, “I’m not trying to outrun the lion. I’m trying to outrun you!”

We’ve been reading in the papers lately about a terrible cruelty someone is causing to our winged friends by the shores of Tempe Town Lake, as many geese have been found with their beaks cut off. Tempe Police suspect a local bill collector is behind it all.

Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None … it’s a hardware problem!

genie monkey over pile of gold

A genie asked Patrick, “What’s your first wish?"
Patrick answered, “I wish I was rich."
The genie nodded and then said, “What’s your second wish, Rich?”

All of us Genius Monkeys share an Amazon account. We call ourselves the Prime mates.

Have you heard of that new band “1023 Megabytes”? They’re pretty good, but they don’t have a gig just yet.

Suzy sadly passed away and went to heaven, where she met St. Peter. As she was being greeted, she noticed all these clock-like things on the walls with name plaques under each one. She asked St. Peter what they were and he explained they were called “sindicators” … they indicated your sins. The more you had sinned on earth, the faster the needle went around. She looked under the letter S and couldn’t find hers. She did see Seth Hassell’s, and it was moving very slowly (good job, Seth), but she could not find her sindicator anywhere. She finally gave up and asked St. Peter if he knew where it was. St. Peter chuckled and said, “Oh, yeah, it’s in the backroom … we’re using it for a fan!”

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