February 8, 2019

Funnier Than a Barrel of Monkeys

As our readers may or may not know, March 1st, 2019 is the first annual National Digital Programmatic Humor Day (known as NDPH Day). To get your ad humor started in the right direction, the digital programmatic specialists at Genius Monkey are throwing some chuckles your way!

We are Geniuses

At Genius Monkey we are all monkeys. That’s because we share our Amazon Account with one another. That makes us prime-mates, right?

Note: For any Amazon officials reading this, I’m just kidding!!!

Give Us This Day …

After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel called up the Pope and asked for a favor.The Pope asked, “What can I do?“The Colonel said, “I need you to change the daily prayer from, ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken’. If you do it, I’ll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican.“The Pope replied, “I am sorry. That is the Lord’s prayer and I can not change the words.” So the Colonel hung up.After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel began to panic, and called again. “Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I’ll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken.’“The Pope responded, “It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the Lord’s prayer, and I can’t change the words.“So the Colonel gives up again. After two more months of terrible sales. The Colonel gets desperate. “This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken’ I will donate $100 million to the Vatican.“The Pope replies, “Let me get back to you.“So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, “I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican.“The bishops rejoiced at the news. Then one asked about the bad news. The Pope replied, “The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account.”

Done with Social Media

I’ve given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles. Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them. And it works. I already have three people following me–two police officers and a psychiatrist.

Where’s Waldo Audiobook

“Not Waldo, Not Waldo, Not Waldo, Not Waldo, Not Waldo, Not Waldo, Not Waldo, Not Waldo, Waldo, Not Waldo.”

Interested in learning more about how Genius Monkey can boost your conversion rates today?

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